Welcome to the Premier League!

Come on in. Sit down, make yourself comfy. You might not be here long so make the most of it.
Don't listen to the others who pretend to be happier down in the Championship, what was it - "real football" and "no namby-pamby stars"? You'll get your cheats of course and there are a few who think they're "The Dogs" but no matter, get in there and enjoy it. Who knows, you might just grow to like eating at the Top Table, it can be very rewarding.
Oh and don't be put off by the pundits - they all loved you on the way up, there'll mostly be dissing you from now on so be warned (especially that loverly Gary Linekar bloke, he does so try to play to "The Masses" with his attempts at humour at someone else's expense).
Look forward to seeing you at The Grove!